Savin' Me
by Allen the Musician
Summary: After discovering the truth of the Fourteenth, about the fact that he will kill someone that he loves when the Fallen Noah takes over, Allen seeks to distance himself from his friends. Can Lenalee convince him to fight his destiny? Can she save him? R
1. Doubt

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man, which you guys didn't already know.  
A/N - this fic is a request from Allen Walker the Crowned Clown and is dedicated to her. Hope that you enjoy!

Chapter One - Doubt

As Allen Walker made his way down the corridor, away from the office where he had just endured a very memorable meeting with Master Cross, his thoughts were focused squarly on HIM. The Fourteenth Noah, the shadowy figure who had been haunting his dreams and making him think that he was losing his sanity. Master Cross had informed him, in no uncertain terms, the the man known as the Musician had implanted him with his memories so that he could return to this world and defeat the Millennium Earl.

That had been difficult to deal with, Allen wouldn't deny, but it had been nothing to learning that his beloved foster father Mana, the man who had raised him as his own son, was the Fourteenth's brother. Now Allen couldn't help but doubt everything that he had once held sacred. Mana's memory had always been a source of comfort to him. When things threatened to become too much for him to bear all he had to do was think of the man who had taken him in, think of the parting words that Mana had left him with, and he could find the strength to go on.

But now he doubted whether it was really him that Mana had cared about. Had his foster father been aware of the magic that his brother had performed? Had it been Allen or the Fourteenth that he was seeing when he had said 'I love you'? Allen didn't want these thoughts, would have been happier never knowing that he was likely to lose himself to the memories of the Fourteenth, but he did know and he would have to find a way to come to terms with these tomultuous feelings.

But how?

Making his way down the corridor, attempting as always to pretend that nothing was wrong, Allen soon came across the a sofa where he found Johnny and Lenalee sleeping. Allen was touched that his friends had been waiting for him; it was obvious that they had been concerned for him. With a smile Allen located a blanket and used it to gently cover them, making every attempt not to disturb their sleep.

"Allen?"

Allen smiled at Lenalee's sleepy voice. The smile was brief but this time it was actually a genuine smile and not just his attempt to hide his pain from the world. Allen didn't understand the feeling but everytime he was near Lenalee he felt this strange feeling in his chest.

"Hey," Allen said, making every attempt to appear as though nothing was wrong. He didn't want to concern Lenalee with his problems, didn't want to tell her that he was currently reeling from a revelation that had shocked him to the core and caused him to fear for his sanity.

_**"I wonder,"**_ the words echoed in his mind although Allen did his best to block them. _**"How you would feel if I were to tell you that you will have to kill someone that you love when you become the Fourteenth?"**_

Allen felt his blood run cold as his mind summoned up an image of his closest friends; Lenalee, Lavi, Komui and even Kanda, lying in a large pool of blood. And standing over their still forms, and looking utterly demented, was he himself.

_"No,"_ Allen thought to himself, forcing the disturbing image to leave his mind. _"I will not allow him to have control. I will protect them, no matter what."_

"Allen," Lenalee said in a quiet voice, gazing up at Allen with concern in her violet eyes. "Is your face red?"

Allen absently placed a hand to the spot on his cheek where his master had struck him. He grinned at her foolishly, attempting to hide the pain that the conversation with Cross had caused him, "Yea. My Master hit me."

Lenalee looked as though she'd like to say something but Allen quickly held up his finger, placing it to his lips. "Shh. You'll wake up Johnny."

Lenalee looked as though she would still like to say something to Allen but the white haired boy offered her another shaky smile and then quickly made his way down the corridor. If he were to be completely honest with himself Allen was running away. He was running away from the news that he couldn't handle and the friend that he couldn't face.

_**"...if I were to tell you that you will have to kill someone that you love when you become the Fourteenth?"**_

Once again these words appeared unbidden in Allen's mind and the young man was forced to grip the wall in order to keep himself from collapsing in a heap. He found himself once again assaulted with unwanted visions of what could be. And this time there was only one lifeless and blood stained body lying on the ground at his feet.

Lenalee's.

"No!" Allen said with a fierceness that surprised him. He was determined that none of his friends would die because of him. Determined that he would not relinquish control of his body to the Fourteenth. Forcing himself to release his grip on the wall Allen stood up and made a move to continue on his way. His resolve was set... until he caught a flash of something out of the corner of his eye.

There, in the window, was the shadowy form with the perpetual smile.

"No," he snapped as he glared at the figure that only he could see. Fire snapped in his gray eyes as he met the vacant eyes of the shadowy figure. "I will not give up."

The shadow merely smiled.

Forcing his gaze away from the figure Allen continued his journey down the corridor. He needed to go somewhere quiet so that he could think about everything that had happened to him. Somewhere where none of the others would be able to find him. His friends were all recovering from their injuries, and for that he was grateful, but he had a lot on his mind and he needed some time alone to sort through his feelings.

He knew, without really knowing how it was that he knew, that his battle against the Fourteenth was going to be a difficult one. Already he was seeing more of the shadowy figure; it appeared to be constantly around, lurking over his shoulder. No one save for him could see it but it was enough that Allen was constantly aware of his presense. Constantly aware of the fact that he was seeking control.

"I don't care that you vowed to kill the Earl with your own hands," Allen growled in a voice that was meant for no one except the shadowy figure who was his constant companion. "I have my own promises to keep and I refuse to let you keep me from that. I won't let you turn me into a liar."

But what he was going to allow the Fourteenth to turn him into was a loner, Allen realized as he made his way to the very depths of headquarters. He was roaming halls that no one ever ventured to in an effort to avoid all of the people that he had came to regard as his family.

Lenalee.

Lavi.

Even BaKanda, although he was like the annoying relative that everyone wanted to slap.

For them he would force himself into a life of isolation. He would still fight beside them, if in fact he was judged to not be a threat to the Black Order, but he would distance himself from them emotionally. He wouldn't allow himself any nearer to them than was necessary for combat and in doing so would hopefully keep anything from happening to them.

He briefly thought about the emotional toll that his decision would take on his friends but he knew that it was for the best in the long run. He couldn't handle it if any of them were hurt or... killed because of him. They were his family and he wanted their safety above all else.

If his own happiness and perhaps even his sanity had to be forfeit in order to ensure this then it was a small price to pay. Allen knew that he would always fondly remember the times that he had spent with all of them, on missions and at headquarters, but those days were over.

For their sakes he would have to continue his journey forward alone.

It would be difficult, since he would be alone in a crowd so to speak, but he was determined that things had to change. The Fourteenth's presense was a constant now and, despite his vow to maintain control, the realistic side of Allen wasn't sure how long he could maintain his fragile grip on control.

"This is for the best," he thought to himself, trying to ignore the single tear that was sliding down his face.

A/N - and once again this story is Allen/Lenalee and was a request from Allen Walker the Crowned Clown. Hope you all enjoyed chapter one, please leave a review and tell me what you thought.

Allen: There's another one?! Agh, they're multiplying! I know that Komui is somehow responsible for this.  
The Musician: Get a grip.  
Allen: Shut up! I'm ignoring you! You don't exist!  
The Musician: 'Laughs evilly'


	2. Transformation

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Two - Transformation

As Lenalee entered the dining hall the first thing she did was scan the room for any sign of Allen. The white haired boy had been avoiding everyone recently and as a result she hadn't seen much of him since their return to HQ from the mission to find General Cross. She desperately wanted to talk to him, having missed his company more than she was willing to admit to anyone.

Her violet gaze soon focused on a table at the far end of the room where Allen was sitting with his newly acquired baby-sitter Howard Link. Allen was sitting at the table, attempting to act as though everything was completely normal, and Lenalee hated seeing him like this. His only companion was the man that the higher ups had assigned to watch over him, just in case the Fourteenth took over.

The smile was still on his face but it was obvious that it was forced.

Lenalee was worried about Allen and she had found that she was unable to hide this concern from the others. So many things had changed since the incidents aboard Noah's Ark and now Allen, who had saved all of their lives as well as prevented the Akuma Plant from being downloaded to the new ark that had been created by the Millennium Earl, was suspected of treason. Lenalee couldn't figure out why the higher ups of the Order would see Allen of all people as a threat.

How they could have possibly reached that conclusion was beyond her.

The white haired Exorcist had never done anything that would cause people to doubt his intentions but now, simply because he supposedly housed the memories of the 14th Noah, he was distrusted by his comrades. People beside whom he had fought on a regular basis. Granted not everyone thought this way but Lenalee had seen people who had once considered Allen to be a friend gazing at him with a different look in their eyes.

And it angered her to no end.

How dare these people even think that Allen would betray the Order. There was nothing more important to Allen than freeing the trapped souls inside the Akuma and now he couldn't even do that. Now he was being followed around by that man while waiting to find out his fate. Lenalee couldn't even imagine what that must feel like and yet Allen walked around as though everything was normal.

Allen seemed to be taking everything in stride and the smile had never once left his face. This was the boy's outward appearance anyway but Lenalee wasn't fooled. She could tell, by the look in his stormy gray eyes, that this situation was eating away at his soul and little by little she began to see minor changes in his personality.

He still spoke politely to anyone who greeted him in the corridor and he still ate enough food to feed a small army but he didn't make any attempt to seek out his friends as he had been known to do in the past. Allen would speak to them if they spoke first but that was it. If no one spoke to him the boy would walk around as though he was the only one at headquarters. Like he was walking around in his own little world.

Lenalee hated it.

She wanted the old Allen back; the carefree and naive boy who had came to the Order and, although she couldn't bring herself to admit this feeling out loud, had captured her heart. She loved the other members of the Order as well, they were after all her family, but her feelings toward Allen were on a completely different level.

And watching him distance himself from everyone who cared about him was slowly killing her. She could see the emotional toll that this so called investigation was taking on him but that didn't mean that he should cut all ties with those who cared for him. And worse than that, worse than the fact that he was avoiding them, was the role that he was forcing himself to play so as not to worry anyone. Allen was forcing himself to act as though everything was fine and Lenalee knew that it was because he was worried about all of them. Allen had always cared more for others than he had cared for himself. He still forced that smile onto his face but his eyes told a different story. Their stormy gray depths showed how much these accusations and his self imposed isolation were having on him.

Feeling as though someone were watching him, other than Link who had became his constant companion, Allen casually gazed around the dining hall. As expected several pairs of eyes were focused on him although most of them attempted to look as though they hadn't been staring when they noticed him staring back. The only one that didn't look away was Lenalee and Allen instantly felt guilty when he saw the concern and accusation in her violet eyes.

He knew that she had picked up on the changes in his personality over the last couple of days even though he had been trying to act normal around all of them. Had been trying to act as though these charges of treason weren't eating away at his soul. Judging by the look on her face as she glared at him he wasn't doing a very good job.

_"I'll just have to do better," _Allen thought to himself as he offered Lenalee a shaky smile.

Lenalee returned the smile that he offered and then began to make her way toward the spot where Allen was sitting. Allen desperately wanted to allow her to sit with him and to be able to talk with her as they once had but he knew that he couldn't. He had to protect her from the Fourteenth, wanted this more than he wanted the comfort of her presence.

Allen quickly got to his feet and hastily retreated, with Link following along behind like the loyal watchdog that he was. As he passed the spot where she was standing Allen caught a glimpse of Lenalee's face and he hated himself for the pain that he was causing her. Hated seeing the hurt that filled her beautiful violet eyes.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered as he hastily left the dining hall.

Lenalee could only watch as Allen quickly left the room, his head held down and his gray eyes gazing at the floor. He had only spared her a passing glance and yet that one glance had been enough to tell her everything. Allen was miserable and she decided in that moment that she had to do something about this situation before things became so bad that...

The young woman couldn't even finish that thought and she clenched her hands into fists. She would find a way to reach her friend if it was the very last thing that she did. He was too important to her for her to allow him to continue on this downward spiral.

_"I... I love you Allen," _she thought to herself, allowing the thought to fully develope for the first time. And this wasn't the same kind of sibling love that she held for the other members of the Black Order. No, this was something much stronger and much harder to describe.

The feeling scared her somewhat however Lenalee decided to trust it. She had to find a way to break through the wall that Allen was building around himself, had to convince him that he wasn't the monster that he had came to see himself as.

Nothing had changed about him, he was still the same sweet young man who had arrived at the Black Order. She knew that he could fight against his inner demons and win. Now all that was left was for her to convince Allen that this was the truth.

Lenalee knew that it wouldn't be easy since Allen seemed determined to avoid all contact with her and the others but she was determined to make him see that he was still worthy of having friends. It would be easier for him to cope with his inner turmoil with the help of his friends, she knew this from experience. All she had to do was convince Allen that she was right.

A/N - And there's the end of chapter two. This one was a little shorter than the last one but I hope that you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought. The Musician


	3. Beyond Cruelty

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Three - Beyond Cruelty

Allen was trying to act as though he had no concerns as he and his shadow, Inspector Howard Link, made their way to the office that Leverrier had claimed as his own upon his arrival at the Headquarters of the Black Order. As always there was a smile on his face but this time he was only making half an effort. He was worried about what would be said in this meeting but hey, who wouldn't be?

He was about to learn of his fate.

Had he been deemed a traitor to the Order for having the memories of the Fourteenth Noah? That was, of course, the worst case scenario since it meant an automatic death sentence. There were other possibilities but this was the one that Allen was focused on.

_"I can't believe it," _Allen thought to himself as he bravely made his way to the office. _"I saved the lives of several Exorcists, captured the Ark and prevented the Akuma Plant from being downloaded and yet I'm charged with heresy. Who comes up with this stuff?"_

Of course they were concerned about the Fourteenth but Allen was fairly certain that they weren't any where near as concerned as he was. After all they were unable to see the shadowy figure who seemed to always be lurking over his shoulders. The figure who was just waiting for the moment when he could take over completely.

_"That won't happen," _Allen vowed, clenching his hands into fists.

_**"You know," **_a voice whispered, startling Allen from his thoughts. _**"Everything would be so much better if you would just give in."**_

Allen glanced around but found that the corridor was deserted except for him and Link. Not that he had really expected to see anyone else. He knew whose voice it was that was calling out to him; he just didn't want to admit that fact to himself.

The Fourteenth.

_"I'm not listening to you," _Allen thought to himself, his gray eyes narrowing. _"This is my body so you can just go away."_

Laughter echoed in his mind but the mysterious voice said nothing else.

"We're here," Link announced as he and Allen arrived at a large and intimidating door. It seemed to be made completely of metal and the young Exorcist couldn't hold back a small shudder as he gazed at it. This was it, the moment of truth. Allen nodded and allowed Link to open the door. The Inspector motioned for Allen to enter the room ahead of him, which the boy did after taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. The encounter with the Fourteenth had shaken him and he didn't want Leverrier to know about it.

"Over here Walker," Leverrier ordered, fixing the young Exorcist with a piercing glare.

"Yes sir," Allen said in a quiet voice. He disliked this man more than any other that he had met and possibly as much as he disliked the Earl and the Noah and yet he still outwardly showed his respect. But it was an act, just like the smile that he still wore. Meant to fool all of those around him into thinking that he was alright when he was, in fact, anything but.

The smile meant to reassure everyone that everything was alright even when it weren't.

"Allen Walker," Leverrier began, effectively capturing the attention of the room's occupants. They were all seated in the shadows which resulted in Allen not being able to see who exactly was present. "You have been summoned to this room to learn of your fate..."

Allen gazed at the man unflinchingly, the soft smile still on his lips. By all outward appearance he was the picture of calm and collected but on the inside he was afraid. He didn't want to hear the verdict but at the same time he had to know.

"We are still uncertain as to whether you pose a threat to the Order," Leverrier said, his gaze locked on Allen as though attempting to gauge his reaction. "But due to the mounting Akuma attacks it has been decided that you will be allowed to continue your duties as an Exorcist..."

Allen couldn't believe the words that he was hearing, since it was the absolute last thing that he had been expecting, and for a brief moment his smile was genuine.

"But..." Allen's gaze shifted back to Leverrier as he heard this ominous word. Leverrier had an almost sinister look on his face as he continued. "Should you show any signs of giving in to the Fourteenth you will be executed immediately."

"I understand," Allen said in a quiet voice.

"This verdict will be announced to the members of the Order later tonight," Leverrier informed the assembled group. "And Walker will be the one to tell the others that, should he turn into the Fourteenth Noah, they are to kill him."

Allen drew in a ragged breath as he heard these words. This was perhaps the cruelest thing that the man could have done to him, aside from actually sentencing him to death. He had to be the one to tell his friends, the people that he had grown to consider his family, that should he lose his struggle against the Fourteenth they have to kill him. How did you find the words to say something like that to people that you cared about?

A vision of Lenalee's face appeared unbidden in his mind and Allen felt tears forming in his eyes. He refused to let them fall because this would prove to Leverrier that he had won but they were there none the less. He was aware of it even if no one else noticed. This would hurt Lenalee and this was the last thing that he wanted to do. He didn't want to see her look at him with that tortured look in her beautiful eyes.

"Walker..."

"I understand," Allen said, barely recognizing his own voice.

"Very well," Leverrier said. "We will assemble everyone in the main meeting room at six o'clock this evening. Make sure that you aren't late."

"Yes sir."

With these words the meeting seemed to be adjourned and Allen quickly left the office, with Link following along behind him. The young boy was still smiling but it had turned into a hollow smile. His spirit was broken and he didn't know how he was going to deal with telling his friends that they might have to kill him. It reminded him too much of the words that Master Cross had left him with, that he might kill someone that he loved.

"Walker..." Link called out. "Where are you going?"

Allen snapped back to reality and realized that he was going in completely the wrong direction. The look on Link's face told the boy that his guard dog was somewhat concerned and he played off the whole incident. Holding up his arms he laughed, "I can't believe that I've been here for so long and I still get lost."

Link gazed at his charge for a few moments and then nodded, seeming to accept Allen's explanation. "Come on."

"Right," Allen said quietly.

* * *

The day passed by far quicker than Allen would have liked and before he knew it he found himself making the familiar journey to the main meeting room. This room had been used a lot since the Cross Group had returned to headquarters with Noah's Ark and even Allen could manage to find it without getting lost. Together he and Link made their way there about twenty minutes before the meeting was to begin.

Allen needed time to prepare for what he had to say and Link had no choice but to go where ever he went.

Leverrier was already in the meeting room, as well as Komui and some of the other scientists. Allen gazed in their direction and Komui gave him a smile that immediately told Allen that he at least already knew the purpose for this meeting.

Komui walked over to the young white haired Exorcist who had just entered the room, a concerned look in his eyes. "Are you alright Allen?"

"I'm fine," Allen lied, once again seeking to protect someone he cared for from undue suffering. Nothing could be done about the way he felt and it wasn't fair to make the others worry about him or suffer because of it. Just as he had done on so many other occasions Allen chose to suffer in silence.

_**"You know," **_the strange voice echoed inside his head, completely unwelcome as far as Allen was concerned. _**"You don't have to go through with this. Just give in to me and that will be the end of it. Hell, I'll even kill that bastard Leverrier as a token of my appreciation..."**_

"Shut up," Allen snarled, not realizing that he was speaking out loud.

"What was that Walker?" Link asked, his gaze locked on Allen.

"Oh nothing," Allen said quickly, making a mental note to be more careful when talking to the voice inside his head. It would be decidedly bad for him if the others learned that he was hearing the voice of the Fourteenth. Allen sighed, knowing that this was just one more thing that he would have to hide from the others. Vaguely he wondered if he were truly strong enough to keep up the fight.

_"Idiot!" _he mentally berated himself, angry for those cowardly thoughts. He had to fight the Fourteenth or else the people he cared about would die. That was something that he refused to allow to happen so he would win this battle no matter what. _"I won't let you win."_

The sound of approaching voices signaled the arrival of others and Allen and Link stepped to the front of the room to stand beside Leverrier. The young Exorcist hated being any where near the man but he didn't really have a choice in the matter so with a resigned sigh he took his place between Leverrier and Link. This made him feel decidedly trapped and yet he still forced a smile upon his face.

Once the room had filled with Exorcists, Finders and scientists Leverrier stepped slightly forward and cleared his throat. The noise in the room died down immediately as all eyes turned toward the small group at the front of the room.

"You have all been summoned here to learn the fate of Allen Walker..."

**_"You can still run... There's time..."_**

Allen forced his attention away from the slightly taunting voice inside his head. He knew that he couldn't run, that he still had duties to perform as an Exorcist. He had made a promise to Mana and he was going to walk forward as long as he was able.

"So, should Walker display any signs of giving in to the Noah..."

Allen stepped forward, the smile still resolutely on his face. "If I show any signs of losing my fight against the Fourteenth then I want you to kill me."

Lenalee gasped as she heard these words, spoken by the smiling Allen. Hatred for Leverrier flared up inside of her. How could he possibly be so cruel, forcing Allen to say something like that? And how could Allen continue to smile like that after telling his friends that they may have to kill him?

"Allen..." she whispered.

A/N - and there's chapter three. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought. Inquiring minds want to know.

The Musician: I still think you should have taken my offer.  
Allen: Shut up! I'm ignoring you remember?  
The Musician: You can't ignore me forever...  
Allen: I can try!  
Lavi: That's the spirit!


	4. I'm Okay

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Four - I'm Okay

"I can't believe that you actually went through with that," the voice inside his head taunted Allen as the young Exorcist watched the assembled crowd begin to disperse. There was a small part of him that agreed with the words of the Fourteenth; he couldn't believe that he'd actually gone through with that either.

Allen had managed to deliver the message that he had been ordered to give, having forced himself to stare blankly at the far wall. He had known that he couldn't say it if he so much as glanced at any of his friends so he chose to stare at the wall.

It was safer that way.

But now the meeting was over and Allen knew that there was no way that he would be able to make it to the door without running into at least one of his friends. He glanced around the room and quickly changed that though. Lenalee, Lavi and, most surprising of all Kanda, were waiting to ambush him as he walked past.

Allen didn't want to talk to them, didn't want to see the looks of pity in their eyes, but he knew that he couldn't escape without at least saying hi. So, with a sigh, he made his way over to the spot where they were standing. He was vaguely aware that there was a smile on his face and had to chuckle at the fact that he no longer had to make a conscious effort to fake a smile.

It was second nature to him now.

"Allen!" Lenalee exclaimed as she rushed forward, coming to a stop mere inches away from the startled boy.

"Um... hello Lenalee..." Allen said, shifting his gaze so that he didn't have to look her in the eyes. He knew what she was going to ask and he knew that he was going to have to lie to her so he didn't want to have to look into her eyes as he did so.

She was one of the few that he actually had difficulty lying to.

"I can't believe the nerve of that man..." Lenalee snarled out, surprising Allen and causing the white haired Exorcist's eyes to focus on her. This was so unlike Lenalee, especially where Leverrier was concerned. Allen knew that something had happened between the two of them but he wasn't certain what it was. He merely knew that they had a history and that it wasn't a pleasant memory for Lenalee. "How could he make you say something like that?"

"It's alright Lenalee," Allen said, realizing that Link was standing behind him and hanging onto their every word. "It was something that had to be said and I guess he thought that you guys would be more likely to listen if it came from me."

"It's not okay," Lavi stated, stepping up beside Lenalee and glaring at Allen through the one vivid green eye that was visible. "It's about as far away from being okay as it is humanly possible to be. After everything that you've sacrificed for the Order they have the nerve to consider you a threat."

"Lavi," Allen said, holding up his gloved hands in an effort to calm the older boy. He was somewhat surprised by this outburst from the Bookman apprentice since he wasn't supposed to form emotional attachments. He was merely here to observe and yet he seemed irritated over the meeting that he had just attended. "It can't be helped. That's just the way things are and if I turn into a threat then I would rather be... killed. I wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to any of you because of me."

"Pathetic," Kanda snapped from his position a couple of feet away from the others. "Like you could ever be a threat to anyone you damn bean sprout."

_**"He has no idea..."**_

"I told you my name is Allen, BaKanda," the white haired Exorcist snapped, ignoring the voice of the Fourteenth. "Are you really so stupid that you can't remember a simple five letter name? Come on, say it with me; A-L-L-E-N."

"Che," was the only reply that he got.

Allen found that he was soothed by this simple exchange and he wondered what about it was so special. But then, after a moment's thought, it came to him. It was soothing to him because it was so ordinary. This was the way that they had always acted and he felt himself smile a genuine smile. He was going to miss this.

Lenalee felt her heart break as she watched the sad smile spread across Allen's handsome face. She couldn't even imagine how it must have felt to tell his friends to kill him and she found herself hating Leverrier more than she ever would have dreamed possible. "Allen..."

"I'm okay," Allen said in a quiet voice, his gaze shifting between his friends.

"Allen..."

Turning away from Lenalee the young white haired Exorcist made his way across the room toward the door. He didn't even wait to make sure that Link was following but he was certain that the blond man was. After all he was annoyingly efficient and had a tremendous sense of duty.

_**"We could get rid of the guy if you're tired of his company..."**_

"Will you give it a rest?" Allen thought, annoyed by the taunting tone of the Fourteenth's voice. "I've told you that this is MY body and I'm not giving up control."

The taunting tone vanished and when the voice spoke again his tone was almost apologetic. _**"I'm sorry kid but there's no way that you can fight against me. You're stronger than I expected you to be, I'll admit that, but it's still only a matter of time."**_

"No!"

The voice disappeared but Allen knew that it was only a matter of time before he returned. As he walked past the windows he saw the image of the shadowy figure smiling back at him with vacant eyes and a wide smile. There was no escaping the Fourteenth and he knew it. And perhaps it would drive him insane but he was still determined to fight against the Noah who wanted control of his body.

"I'm okay," he muttered to himself, a determined gleam in his stormy eyes.

"Walker..."

The young Exorcist turned and gazed at Link over his shoulder. The man was holding his clipboard poised as though to write something and Allen found himself vaguely wondering what his guard dog had found of interest to put in his report. Probably the fact that he had taken to talking to himself recently. Or at least it appeared as though he were talking to himself. Allen would never tell anyone who it was that he was actually talking to. "What is it Link?"

Link gazed at the young boy's smile for a moment and then shook his head and lowered his clipboard. "It was nothing. Carry on."

Allen nodded and continued on his way down the corridor. The voice had silenced for now and as he made his way further into HQ there were no windows in which he could see the reflection of the Fourteenth. For just a moment he could pretend as though this was any ordinary day and that he wasn't on the verge of losing his sanity. "I'm okay," he thought to himself.

Perhaps one day he would be able to convince himself that this was the truth but it didn't appear likely from where he was currently standing.

A/N - chapter four and I think that Leverrier needs to die a slow and painful death. Hope that you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review and tell me what you thought.

The Musician: I still maintain that you should let me kill that guy.  
Allen: Maybe later...  
The Musician: Yes!  
Lavi: All those in favor of letting the 14th kill Leverrier say aye!


	5. Maintaining a Distance

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Five - Maintaining a Distance

Allen had a rare moment to himself, since Link had been summoned away by one of the higher ups, and the young Exorcist was standing at the one window in his room, just staring off into space. Timcanpy, as always, was perched on the top of his white hair.

The boy had been stuck inside headquarters for what seemed like forever and he was itching to get back out and resume his role as an Exorcist. Destroying Akuma and freeing the trapped souls was his mission in life after all and he was more than ready to get back to the task.

"Walker!"

Allen cringed and turned to gaze at his guard dog Link, who had entered the room without so much as a sound. He really wished that the man would cease addressing him by his last name only but the guy was too into his job to listen to the boy's pleas to be called simply Allen. It was almost as infuriating as being referred to as bean sprout by Kanda and Lavi.

Almost.

"What is it Link?" The fake smile was once again pasted to the boy's face but Allen didn't really think about it. The motion had became practically second nature to him over the years and it was an automatic motion. Just like breathing he didn't even have to think about it. Had the boy given it much thought he would have realized that this was somewhat sad but, like so many other things in his life, it was just something that he accepted.

"Chief Komui has summoned us to his office," Link said, the ever present clipboard held in his hands. As though he expected there to be something to record her in the small room that the two of them now occupied. "I think he has a mission planned."

"Wonderful," Allen said and for once he actually wholeheartedly meant the words that he was speaking. This would be the first mission that he had been sent out on since the incident with Noah's Ark and his subsequent trial for heresy and he had to admit that he was anxious to get back to work.

Everything was much clearer when he was fighting against the Akuma and that was what he needed at this point; a moment of clarity no matter how brief it may prove to be. Grabbing his Exorcist's coat from where it was hanging on the coat rack the white haired youth quickly crossed the room to the spot where Link was standing.

And as always the guard dog stepped aside and allowed Allen to lead the way.

It was as though he were afraid that he might miss something if he allowed Allen to walk behind him. Or perhaps he was afraid that the boy would bolt for the nearest exit. And, if asked, Allen would be forced to admit that he had thought about that course of action but in the end had decided against it.

_**"He's afraid of you, you know..."**_

_"Yea right," _Allen thought, rolling his eyes as he heard the by now familiar voice in his head. _"He's a member of CROW, there's absolutely no way that he's scared of me."_

_**"Alright then... he's scared of ME..."**_

_"Well he shouldn't be because I'm not giving in to you."_

Laughter echoed in Allen's mind a split second before the voice disappeared. It seemed as though the Fourteenth had decided to withdraw for the time being. Allen wasn't certain how long his reprieve would last but he was grateful for it none the less. After all, the voice of the Fourteenth had been haunting him frequently as of late and Allen was afraid that his control might be slipping.

_"I won't let that happen," _he vowed.

When the young Exorcist arrived at Chief Komui's office he knocked lightly a couple of times before opening the door and stepping inside. And as he entered the office he saw that Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee were already assembled in front of the chief's desk.

He hadn't expected this and his pulse quickened. If he were indeed losing control to the Fourteenth then this was a decidedly bad turn of events. Suddenly he realized that all eyes were focused on his and he forced the smile back onto his face. "Link said that there was a mission..."

"Yes," Komui said, gazing at Allen in an appraising manner for a moment before turning to point at a cluster of maps that were tacked up behind his cluttered desk. "A fragment of Innocence has been discovered in Berlin and I want the four... excuse me five of you to investigate the situation and recover the Innocence."

"Why so many?" Kanda demanded, blunt as always.

"A group of Finders encountered a large group of Akuma," Komui said, his eyes betraying a hint of the horror that he felt over the situation. "They were all killed however they managed to hide the Innocence before the attack. From what we've been able to gather the Akuma still haven't found it."

"Then we shouldn't waste any time," Lavi said, his hand automatically going to his repaired Innocence.

"Right," Lenalee said. "Let's get moving. We can look over the files more on the train."

"Be careful all of you," Komui called out as the group of young Exorcists, followed closely behind by Link, turned and left his office. As always he was concerned for their safety but with the Millennium Earl stepping up his efforts he knew that they had to gather as many fragments of Innocence as possible.

Because, as things stood now, they didn't stand a chance in this war.

As the group made their way to the train station Allen made it a point to remain outside of the group. He had vowed not to draw his friends into his struggle with the Fourteenth and he would keep that promise. After all, he wouldn't be able to handle the knowledge that his actions had led to the death of one of the few people on the planet that he actually felt an emotional connection to.

They didn't understand; Allen could see it in their eyes and he could tell that his actions were hurting Lenalee but he kept reminding himself that it was completely necessary. If he didn't get close to anyone then there was less of a chance that he would inadvertently hurt them should the Fourteenth win their little internal struggle.

**_"I will win..."_**

_"Not if I have anything to say about it."_ Allen clenched his hands into fists and kept his gray eyed gaze locked forward. Looking at his friends and seeing the hurt look in Lenalee's beautiful eyes was becoming too difficult so he decided to just stare at the scenery. _"Why did Komui have to send all of us on this mission?"_

"Walker..."

"What?" Allen asked, glancing at Link. It seemed obvious, by the expression on the man's face, that he had said something that Allen had completely missed. Reaching up he scratched the back of his head and said, "I'm sorry, I must have spaced out. What were you saying?"

Link sighed and repeated his question. "I was asking if you were alright; you seem somewhat distracted."

"I'm fine," Allen said quickly, his hand going back to his side. "I was just thinking."

"Careful there bean sprout," Lavi said, glancing over at the white haired Exorcist. There was a grin on the older boy's face and a mischievous light was shining in his one visible green eye. "You don't wanna hurt yourself or anything."

"Right," Allen mumbled, continuing to walk forward.

Having expected this comment to get a better reaction Lavi stared at his companion. He knew that Allen had been acting strange as of recent and he found himself wondering if it had something to do with the Fourteenth Noah. The bookman part of his brain went into overdrive but he didn't share any of his theories with his other companions.

He wouldn't say anything until he was certain what was going on.

A/N - and there's chapter five. They're going on a mission, that could prove disastrous. And since I'm omitting events from the manga let's just call this fic AU for the sake of argument. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	6. Alone in a Crowd

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Six - Alone in a Crowd

This mission to collect Innocence should have been just like any of the many others that Allen had been sent on during his stint in the Black Order but due to his inner turmoil it was far more stressful then it should have been.

His fear that something would happen to cause one of his friends to get injured because of him was eating away at him and causing the young man to over think everything that should have came naturally.

And it was driving him nuts.

Their group had been attacked by a large number of Akuma but they were all level one and should have been no problem to deal with. If only Allen weren't so distracted.

"Concentrate you stupid bean sprout!" Kanda shouted as he used Mugen to destroy a nearby Akuma.

"Right," Allen said, completely missing the fact that his comrade had called him by that much hated nickname. His thoughts were centered around the fact that he was distracted. At this rate he would end up causing one of his friends to get hurt, without the interference of the Fourteenth, and this was unacceptable. "Focus!"

Taking a deep breath Allen focused his complete attention on the attacking Akuma. "Crown Clown activate!"

The transformation was familiar and it was pleasant to know that at least this hadn't changed for him. Once his Innocence had been invoked Allen rushed forward and began attacking the Akuma that were surrounding his group.

Allen felt the need to destroy all of the Akuma and he fought hard to kill as many as possible. This wasn't really necessary, since there were three other Exorcists in his group, but Allen needed to feel a sense of normalcy and nothing gave this to him better than freeing the trapped souls of Akuma.

At least the Fourteenth hadn't managed to take this away from him.

"_You shouldn't be blaming everything on me. It's not really my fault that your own comrades don't trust you."_

"Shut up," Allen growled to the voice in his head. Normally he would have worried about saying this out loud but since the others were all engaged in battle there was no danger in anyone overhearing.

"_Don't be like that. If you just give in to me then everything will be okay. You won't have to deal with these feelings any more."_

Allen ignored the voice of the Fourteenth as he used the claws on his left hand to destroy another Akuma. He was used to this attempt to gain his cooperation and could tune out the words. There was absolutely no way that he was going to willingly give the Noah control of his body.

"Not a chance."

Despite the fact that all four of the Exorcists were fighting the group of Akuma didn't appear to be getting any smaller. It was almost as though for every Akuma that they killed two more were appearing in it's place.

"Where are they all coming from?" Lavi demanded as he used his hammer to destroy a group of about five Akuma.

"Who cares where they're coming from," Kanda shouted as he slashed at the enemy. "Just shut up and kill them already you stupid rabbit."

"You know Yu," Lavi said, shaking his head as he continued to fight. "You really shouldn't be that way to your own teammate. It's just mean. Isn't that right bean sprout?"

Allen heard the words spoken to him by the red haired Exorcist but he chose to ignore them. Under normal circumstances being called bean sprout would cause him to shout at Lavi but ever since he learned about the Fourteenth Allen had been making a conscious effort to remain detached from the others.

It was for their own safety.

Lavi couldn't believe that Allen had refused to take the bait not once but twice but he didn't have time to dwell on the fact. He would analyze it more once the battle was won but for now he needed to focus all of his attention on the Akuma.

Allen was beginning to grow weary and he knew that his teammates had to be feeling the strain as well. The Akuma just kept appearing and, taking a deep breath, Allen leapt into the air.

He needed to finish this before the strain became too much.

"Cross Grave!"

Shining white crosses appeared on the chests of all of the Akuma and, after a few moments, they simultaneously exploded. Allen landed on the ground and watched as the souls were freed, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.

"That was great!" Lavi exclaimed, wrapping his arm around Allen's neck and screaming into his ear.

"Thanks," Allen muttered as he removed Lavi's arm from around his neck and stepped away. He desperately wanted to join in the celebration but knew that he couldn't.

He had to remain detached, for the sake of his friends.

They were too important to him to allow anything to happen to them. Especially not because of him. And if he didn't distance himself from them then Allen knew that he would only be putting his friends in danger.

"_I wonder how you would feel if I were to tell you that you will have to kill someone that you love when you become the Fourteenth?"_

Allen's blood ran cold as Master Cross' words once again ran through his mind. This only served to renew his resolve to maintain a distance from his friends.

He couldn't afford to forget what was at stake or else his own personal desire would win out over his need to keep his friends safe.

"I will not allow that to happen," Allen vowed, clenching his hands into fists.

Link noticed the determined look that had appeared in the young man's gray eyes but he wasn't certain what had caused it. After all it hadn't appeared until all of the Akuma had been defeated.

So what could have caused it?

"What is going on with this kid?" the guard dog for the higher ups thought to himself as he gazed at the young boy who was in his charge. Had he missed some kind of sign? Had something happened with the boy during that battle?

"No," Link decided after a few moments. Nothing of great importance had happened during that battle and Link was ready to resume their assignment so that they could return to headquarters. "Let's go."

"Right," the four Exorcists said.

Allen led the way toward the train station, followed along by the others. Lenalee and Lavi were talking amongst themselves while Kanda was making it a point to ignore all of them.

Things were normal, with the exception of Allen. The young Exorcist felt as though he were alone in a crowd but fully realized that it was necessary.

"_I'm sorry guys," _he thought as he gazed at his friends out of the corner of his eye. _"But trust me, it's all for the best."_

"_That's what you think."_

Allen had no idea what the Fourteenth meant by his words this time but it wasn't something that he was going to allow himself to dwell on.

Because in the long run it didn't really matter.

A/N - Another chapter and Allen's still distancing himself from his friends. Lenalee's going to have to do something about that. Hope that you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	7. By His Side

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Seven - By His Side

After the first wave of Akuma had been defeated the Exorcists continued with their mission to track down and retrieve the Innocence. And, although he had fought beside them, Allen was still maintaining a wall against his friends.

And this was tearing at Lenalee's heart.

She desperately wanted the carefree and happy Allen back. But more than that she wanted the white haired boy to realize that he was worth saving and that all of his friends cared about him and wanted to help him with his problems.

If only he'd let them.

_"Please Allen,"_ she thought to herself as she gazed at the boy who was walking a few feet in front of her. He was being trailed by Link and there appeared to be a far off look in his stormy gray eyes. It was obvious that he was lost in thought about something and all Lenalee wanted was for him to feel like he could share his problems with her and the others. They would be more than willing to help him overcome his problems if only he would tell them what was wrong.

This thought was interrupted by the sound of screaming.

The Exorcists all glanced toward the sky, toward the spot where the noise was coming from, and that's when they saw a large group of Akuma. This group was even larger than the one that had attacked them previously.

"It's another attack!" Lavi exclaimed as he pulled his hammer from the little pocket that he wore around his thigh.

The others were right behind him and, with their Innocence activated, the group stared down the huge group of Akuma that seemed to be preparing to attack.

Just like with the others Lenalee's gaze was focused on the Akuma and she noticed that this group, unlike the previous, was made up of mainly level two and level three Akuma. This was decidedly bad since it had taken so much out of them to defeat the first wave. And this battle was going to be even more difficult. "Oh no."

This was bad, since the group of Exorcists had yet to recover from the previous fight. But there was nothing to be done for it. They would simply have to put everything that they had into fighting this new group of Akuma.

With this thought Lenalee's gaze shifted to Allen. The white haired youth had activated Crown Clown and was now staring at the Akuma with determination in his gray eyes. This was more like the Allen that she knew and, despite the seriousness of the situation, Lenalee was happy to see this change.

Unfortunately she didn't have a great deal of time to dwell on this fact. With a fierce battle cry the Akuma launched themselves toward the group of Exorcists.

"Get ready!" Lavi exclaimed as he held up his hammer and prepared for the coming attack.

The clash of Akuma and Exorcist could be heard for miles as the battle began. Each of the four Exorcists were forced to fight several Akuma at once but the majority of the enemies seemed to be focused on Allen.

The white haired youth seemed to be their primary target.

During a momentary lull in the battle Lenalee happened to glance over and her violet eyes widened in horror as she watched two of the level three Akuma attack him simultaneously.

"ALLEN!"

Without a second thought Lenalee used the Dark Boots to quickly appear at Allen's side. She was fully aware that the level three Akuma were tough opponents but was determined not to let Allen fight them alone. He was her friend and she would do everything in her power to keep him safe.

"You should get back," Allen whispered as the two Akuma prepared for a second attack. They had been caught off guard by the actions of Lenalee but seemed to be recovering from their shock rapidly.

"No way Allen," Lenalee said, a fierce determination evident in the tone of her voice. She had no idea what he was thinking but she refused to just leave him to fend for himself in this fight.

Allen wanted to convince Lenalee to get away while she still had the chance but he didn't have the time. The Akuma were about to attack and, much to his horror, Allen noticed that their gazes were locked not on him but on Lenalee instead.

"Damn," the boy swore as the Akuma leapt forward simultaneously, seemingly intent upon attacking his friend.

Summoning all of his strength Allen used Crown Belt to seize Lenalee and get her out of the way before the Akuma could get to her. The Akuma screamed in rage and quickly pursued the two Exorcists who had dared to run from them.

And, as though taking a visual cue from their comrades, a couple of level two Akuma quickly joined the chase.

In the midst of the fierce battle Lavi noticed that Allen and Lenalee were fleeing the battleground, pursued by two Akuma. "Damn it!" he swore as he used his hammer to destroy several Akuma.

He wanted to help his friends but it simply wasn't a viable option at this given point in time.

Link also noticed that the two Exorcists were leaving the area and he also wanted to follow. After all it was his job to follow and keep an eye on Allen Walker but he couldn't get away from the battle either.

Which was unfortunate.

After a brief chase Allen returned to the ground, gently placing Lenalee on her own two feet. Then he turned to face the Akuma, fire snapping in his gray eyes. They had threatened his friend and that was the one thing that the boy could never forgive. These Akuma were going to fall at his hands.

"Bring forth salvation to these tormented Akumas' souls!"

This caused the gathered Akuma to laugh however their laughter faltered as both Allen and Lenalee leapt toward them. The level twos quickly fell to the Exorcists, which only left the level threes.

"They're tougher than I thought," one of the Akuma growled, his eyes narrowed as he gazed at the pair of Exorcists. "But now they're going to die!"

Holding out his hand the level three fired a series of missiles from his palm.

This time it was Lenalee's turn to save her friend. Grabbing Allen by the collar of his white cowl she used the Dark Boots to launch herself into the air and out of the way of the impending attack.

Thankfully Lenalee's Innocence was fast enough to dodge the attack but the missiles struck the cliff behind the Exorcists. This caused a massive rock slide, which sent dust into the air.

"We have to end this," Allen said, gazing up at Lenalee.

Lenalee nodded. "We'll attack together alright?"

Allen nodded, holding his right hand over his left arm and summoning forth his sword. This attack needed to be as efficient as possible; there was no room for errors.

Once again summoning the power of the Dark Boots Lenalee launched them forward, toward the two Akuma. Using her speed she managed to get them close enough to the Akuma to strike before the enemies realized what was going on.

"Let your souls be saved!" Allen screamed as he swung the blade of his sword.

There was a bright flash of light and then the earth trembled with the force of the explosion from the destroyed Akuma.

"Lenalee watch out!"

Yet more rocks had been knocked free by the explosion and Allen used his Innocence to shield them from the falling debris. Pulling Lenalee into his arms he wrapped his cloak around them, to prevent them both from being crushed.

A/N - here's another chapter, hope that you enjoyed. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	8. There is Hope

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Eight - There is Hope

"Stupid bean sprout," Kanda snarled as he, Lavi and Link regrouped after the battle with the Akuma horde. There was a scathing look in the dark eyes of the Japanese Exorcist as he thought back to the actions of his team mate. "What the hell was he thinking? He should have been able to take out both of those level threes with no problem."

"Calm down Yu," Lavi said, holding up both hands in a vain attempt to sooth his irritated comrade. While it was true that Kanda had a valid point it was also true that Allen had a valid excuse. "Allen has a lot on his mind at the moment and it's affecting the way that he fights."

"Che!" It was obvious that Kanda wasn't buying the excuse so Lavi decided to give up for the moment.

After all, they had much more pressing things to do. Like track down the two missing members of their team. Before Link suffered a massive stroke due to the fact that he had failed in his mission to keep an eye on Allen.

"Anyway we should probably find Allen and Lenalee," the red haired Exorcist said, his thoughts returning to the look that he had seen in Allen's eyes. He knew that what General Cross had said to Allen was weighing heavily on the white haired youth's mind but he honestly hadn't expected for it to affect the kid's fighting this much.

Something was going to have to give in this situation or else Allen was doomed to self destruct.

There was the distinct possibility that he could end up dead before the Fourteenth even had the chance to seize control of his body. And despite his duty as a Bookman, Lavi couldn't deny the fact that he didn't want to see that happen.

"Let's move out," Link said, effectively taking Lavi's thoughts away from all of the rules that he was breaking by forming emotional attachments of any kind with these people that he was merely supposed to be observing. It was obvious that Link was in a hurry to track down Allen and Lenalee, okay mainly Allen.

"He thinks that something is going to happen," Lavi thought to himself as the group began their search for the two missing Exorcists. Not that the thought hadn't crossed his mind as well but the red haired Exorcist knew that Allen was stronger than others gave him credit for.

He could fight off the Fourteenth, of that Lavi was certain.

* * *

"Are you alright Lenalee?"

Lenalee's eyes opened and the first thing she saw, as the world came back into focus, were Allen's stormy gray eyes. She could feel his arms still around her and suddenly she recalled what had happened. "I… I'm okay. How about you?"

"I'm fine," Allen replied as he helped Lenalee into a more comfortable position. His Innocence had protected them from the falling debris caused by the exploding Akuma but the rocks had formed a cave, surrounding them. "Listen I'm really sorry about this."

"Don't be stupid," Lenalee said, glaring at her comrade, a fierce look in her violet eyes. "It's not your fault so stop saying things like that."

Allen was slightly taken aback by the sharpness that he noticed in Lenalee's voice as she spoke these words to him and he gazed over at her. There was something strange in her eyes, some emotion that he couldn't identify, and the young man used this as an excuse to stare into her eyes.

They really were beautiful eyes…

"Hey Allen…"

The young man shook his head and snapped back to reality. The expression in Lenalee's eyes had changed to one of concern and now she was gazing at Allen.

"Sorry," Allen said in a quiet voice. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying that we should probably find a way to get out of here," Lenalee said, offering her companion a smile.

"Right," Allen said, gazing around at their surroundings. The rocks had piled together to form the cave where they now found themselves and he surveyed the scene, thinking about the best way to regain their freedom.

Should they break out using Crown Clown or should they move the rocks the old fashioned way. The first of the two choices would be faster while the second would be safer.

"So," Allen said, turning his attention back to the young woman who was standing beside him. "How should we deal with this situation? Should we attempt to get out of here using Innocence or some other way."

Hiding the fact that she was completely thrilled that Allen was actually talking to her she gave the question some thought. She knew that it would most likely be faster to use their Innocence and it was in this moment that she made her decision.

"We need to be careful," she said, striving to keep her pent up emotions out of her voice. "So we should probably move the rocks by hand."

It was, of course, a little white lie. The real reason she wanted to move the rocks by hand was that it would lengthen the amount of time that they spent alone together.

Maybe, just maybe, she would be able to get through to Allen.

At least that was her hope.

Allen nodded his head as his gaze shifted back and forth between Lenalee and the rocks that were surrounding them. "Well, I guess we should get to work then."

"Right," Lenalee said. She could tell that Allen was still striving to keep his distance from her but at least he was speaking more now. Hopefully she would be able to make some progress with him and turn a bad situation into a good one.

* * *

"How far could they possibly have traveled?" Lavi asked, as he followed his two companions. They had been walking for awhile and, with Kanda in the lead, had been traveling at a quick pace.

These two factors, combined with the fact that they had already fought two exhaustive battles, meant that the red haired Exorcist was tired to say the very least.

"There's no way to know until we find them," Link said, not even bothering to look in Lavi's direction.

"And meanwhile the Akuma are more than likely making their way toward the Innocence while we waste time looking for that stupid bean sprout," Kanda growled, making no attempt to hide the contempt in his voice.

Link stopped short in this moment, as though this thought hadn't even occurred to him. "We have to go and collect the Innocence," he said.

"Are you serious?" Lavi asked, finding it hard to believe that Allen's watch dog was willing to call off the search for him. As the apprentice to Bookman it wasn't often that he was surprised but he could count this moment among the few times that it had happened.

"We cannot allow the Akuma to gain possession of the Innocence," Link said, turning around and beginning to walk back the way that they had came.

Kanda didn't need any convincing. He immediately changed course, striding past Lavi as though he was delighted with the change of plans.

"We'll meet up with Walker and Lee once we've secured the Innocence," Link called out over his shoulder, noticing that Lavi seemed reluctant to follow.

"Fine," Lavi said, turning around and striding to catch up to the others. He knew that both Allen and Lenalee could take care of themselves but he didn't like the idea of continuing the mission without them.

But maybe it would turn out to be for the best. After all, wherever the two of them were, they were together and if anyone could get through to the confused Allen then it was Lenalee.

"Maybe there's hope," he thought to himself as he walked along behind Link and Kanda.

A/N - sorry that this chapter is so short but I hope that you enjoyed. And I'm sorry if Lavi seems OOC. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	9. Let Me Help

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Chapter Nine - Let Me Help

They had made the decision to dig their way out of the cave where they found themselves trapped after the rockslide that had been triggered by the Akuma's attack. Each had their own reason for the decision but both decided to keep that knowledge to themselves. So for awhile Allen and Lenalee worked to clear away the rocks in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts that were better off kept to themselves.

"_**You're alone with her… Aren't you concerned about what might happen?"**_

Allen froze, his heart skipping a beat, as he heard the words of the Fourteenth echoing in his head. Until this point, he hadn't given this situation any deep thought but now he was terrified.

The voice of the Fourteenth renewed the fears that he had been battling against. Allen had made it a point to never be alone with any of his friends. Hell, he'd been making it a point not to be with them at all.

But now, thanks to the attack by those Akuma, he was trapped with Lenalee. Trapped with the person that he cared about the most.

Thinking of Lenalee in terms of the most important person in his life was scary but the echo of General Cross' words that kept running through his mind was what really terrified him.

"Allen," Lenalee said tentatively, briefly pausing in her work so that she could look at him. She saw him tense out of the corner of her eye and wanted to know what was wrong with him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Allen said tensely.

"You know," Lenalee said, placing her hands on her hips. "I really wish that you would stop saying that. I'm not stupid Allen. I can see that you're not fine so would you just drop the act already?"

Allen was slightly taken aback by these words from her. He hadn't realized that his actions had upset her this much.

"Now I'll ask you again," Lenalee said, a note of warning in her voice. "What is wrong?"

Allen almost insisted that he was fine but, after gazing into Lenalee's violet eyes, he changed his mind. With a sigh Allen sank to the ground, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them protectively. He didn't want to talk about his feelings, or more precisely about what was causing them, but for some reason the words just burst forth. "After the incident with Noah's Ark my Master told me that I harbor the memories of the Fourteenth Noah… and that those memories will eventually take over. Which of course you know since Leverrier told everyone about it."

There was a note of bitterness in Allen's voice as he made this last statement.

"Allen…"

"That's not really the part that's bothering me," Allen said, unable to stop now that he'd begun the explanation. "I mean I'm not happy about it but it's not the worst thing. The worst thing is that Master Cross told me that I will… that I will kill someone I love when I become the Fourteenth."

The white haired youth paused at this point and continued to stare straight ahead. He couldn't look at Lenalee, afraid of what he might see in her eyes.

"You're stronger than that Allen," Lenalee said in a quiet voice, grateful that Allen had finally told her what was bothering him. She had guessed that it had something to do with the ghost of the Fourteenth that seemed to haunt him. "I've seen you battle impossible odds before. You're going to beat this and come out of it stronger than you were before."

Allen continued to stare ahead and, after a couple of seconds of thought, Lenalee reached toward him with a slightly shaky hand. Placing the tips of her fingers under his chin she gently turned Allen's face toward her own.

Tears were glistening in his stormy gray eyes.

"You don't have to go through this alone Allen," she whispered, a sincere look in her eyes. "Let me help you."

"_**Yes. Let her help you."**_

Allen was unsure of the Fourteenth's intentions as he heard these words echo through his mind but the emotion contained in Lenalee's voice was enough to sway him. Enough to make him lose his resolve to go through this war alone.

"Will you let me help you?" Lenalee asked, her voice taking on something of a pleading quality. "Please Allen."

Allen nodded ever so slightly.

Brushing back a strand of his white hair Lenalee whispered, "Thank you."

* * *

Having traveled quickly Lavi, Kanda and Link arrived at the location where the Innocence was rumored to rest. And the minute they arrived there they were once again attacked by a large group of Akuma.

"I don't believe this!" Lavi exclaimed as he pulled out his hammer. "Big hammer, little hammer grow… Grow… GROW!"

The hammer instantly grew in size and Lavi used it to smash a couple of Akuma who happened to be standing too close to each other.

Kanda was also irritated over the situation, not that this was much of a change from his normal demeanor. He pulled Mugen from it's sheath and activated it, determined to end this fight as soon as possible.

All he wanted to do was secure the Innocence and get on with things.

Link stood off to the side and watched as the two Exorcists battled the Akuma. He was focused on getting the Innocence and completing the mission however his thoughts kept wandering back to Allen Walker.

It wasn't like he was concerned for the boy's safety; the young Exorcist was at the level of a general and more than capable of taking care of himself. His preoccupation had more to do with the fact that Allen was out of his sight.

He was supposed to keep an eye on the boy and that was currently impossible.

* * *

"So," Lenalee said. "Are you up for getting out of here?"

Allen nodded and quickly scrambled to his feet. Then, once he was standing, he held out his hand to Lenalee.

The young woman accepted the hand that Allen was holding out to her and allowed him to pull her to her feet. Unfortunately her left foot got hung on something and she fell forward as she rose.

Allen caught Lenalee in his arms before she tumbled back to the ground and tried with all his might not to think about how right it felt to have her in his arms.

Like it was meant to be.

A blush rose to color the boy's face.

"Sorry about that." With a laugh Lenalee pulled from Allen's embrace and returned to her work.

"Don't worry about it," Allen said, holding out his hands. He wouldn't dream of telling her but he had actually reveled in the embrace. "Just don't tell Chief Komui about it. That's all I ask."

"Don't worry," Lenalee said, gracing Allen with a bright smile. A smile that almost seemed to light up their dreary prison. "I don't think either one of us really wants to go through that."

Allen returned to work moving the rocks. He wouldn't have dreamed it possible but after his little talk with Lenalee he actually felt better.

Which was odd because the situation hadn't changed. Was the knowledge that he had someone's support really that comforting to him?

"_**Friends can help you through anything. But only if you let them."**_

Allen didn't want to hear the words of the Fourteenth, even if he did like the words that he was speaking. His intention had been to go through everything alone but now he found that he was comforted by Lenalee's support.

"_I hope I'm not making a mistake," _Allen thought to himself as he worked alongside Lenalee. She was important to him and he was grateful for her support. He just hoped that his decision was the right one.

"_Maybe there is hope."_

A/N - yet another short chapter. I'm sorry for the length but I'm hoping that the quick updates will make up for that somewhat. Hope that you enjoyed, please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	10. Renewed Promise

Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man nor any of it's wonderful characters.

Chapter Ten - Renewed Promise

Allen hadn't expected to feel so much better after confiding his feelings with someone but he found that after telling Lenalee about his fears his heart was much lighter. He was still concerned about the threat posed by the Fourteenth but he knew that there were people willing to help him with the fight.

Every so often Lenalee would pause in her work and reach over and grasp Allen by the hand. It was as though she wanted to reassure him that she was there and Allen found himself comforted by her gentle touch.

And every time that she did this Allen would give her delicate hand a gentle squeeze.

The work was difficult but together the two young Exorcists managed to move enough rocks so that they could crawl out of the cave through a small opening. Taking Lenalee by the hand Allen got down on his hands and knees and began to crawl through the tight space.

Holding his hand grasped tightly in her own Lenalee followed along behind the white haired youth.

Allen shielded his eyes as he once again emerged out into the world of sunlight. The light inside the cave had been dim and it took a couple of moments for his eyes to adjust to the brighter light. But he soon adjusted, at the same time remembering that Lenalee was behind him. He got quickly to his feet and then helped Lenalee to rise.

"We did it Allen," Lenalee said with a smile, gazing around at their surroundings. They had spent hours trapped in that cave and being out in the open was the most wonderful feeling. "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?"

Allen's gaze was focused squarely on Lenalee and he replied, in a voice somewhat deeper than his normal tone, "No I haven't."

Noticing the change in his voice Lenalee turned to look at Allen and caught the tender look in his gray eyes.

Allen blushed as Lenalee turned to face him, and made a move to turn away, but he was prevented from doing so. Reaching out Lenalee touched his chin with the tips of her fingers, keeping him from looking away.

"Lena… lee…"

Lenalee didn't say anything as she leaned closer and gently pressed her lips to Allen's. She had yearned to do this for so long but had never had the nerve.

But today was different.

Something had changed between the two of them and she felt more daring than she ever had in her life.

At first Allen tensed as Lenalee pressed her lips to his own but then, after a moment, he wrapped his arms around her slender waist and kissed her with all the passion that he could muster.

The two young Exorcists held this embrace for a moment before they broke apart, each unable to contain the smile that came to their lips.

"That was…" Allen began.

"Amazing," Lenalee supplied, placing her head on his shoulder.

They stood that way for a few moments, each content in the other's arms, but then the magic was interrupted by reality.

"I guess we should try to find Lavi and the others," Allen said, knowing that they were technically still on a mission.

"Alright," Lenalee said, albeit reluctantly. She pulled away from Allen's embrace but seized him by the hand, not willing to give him the chance to pull away from her again now that she had managed to break through the wall.

As scary as the thought was, Lenalee felt that the attack by the Akuma was the best thing that could have happened to them. If not for that set of circumstances then she may have never been able to reach Allen.

And she wasn't willing to risk undoing all of the progress that the two of them had made together.

"So do you think the others are looking for us?" Lenalee asked as the two of them made their way down the path.

"I'm not sure," Allen said with a shrug. On the one hand Link was supposed to follow him no matter what but on the other hand they had been ordered to retrieve the Innocence. He wasn't sure which of these orders would prove to be higher up on his watch dog's priority list.

Not that Allen really cared all that much. He was rather enjoying this time that he was spending with Lenalee. The white haired youth had missed the contact with his friends and, out of all of those people that he had been avoiding, Allen missed speaking with Lenalee the most. It felt wonderful to be walking hand in hand with her and he wanted this moment to last as long as possible. He didn't want to return to the reality of his current situation.

"Um Lenalee..."

Lenalee turned violet eyes in his direction. "What is it Allen?"

"I just want to thank you," Allen said, his voice barely above that of a whisper and his gray eyes downcast. "I know that I acted like a jerk and yet you never gave up. Thank you for being there for me, even when I didn't want you to be."

Lenalee gave the hand that she was holding a comforting squeeze. "Always Allen."

* * *

Despite the difficulty of getting to the location of the Innocence, the little fragment actually proved to be fairly easy to obtain. They only had to fight a couple of level two Akuma to take it.

"That was a little anticlimactic," Lavi complained as he placed his hammer back in it's little case. "I'm a little disappointed." He turned his attention to Kanda and opened his mouth to speak.

"Shut up," Kanda snapped before the red haired Exorcist even had the chance to utter one syllable.

"You really need to learn to be a little nicer Yu," Lavi said, his bottom lip stuck out in a slight pout.

"Tch."

"We should retrace our steps," Link said, breaking up the argument before it escalated. "We have to find Walker."

"And Lenalee," Lavi added, shaking his head at Link's short sidedness. The man was far too dedicated to his job, which was saying something coming from the future Bookman.

The group began the journey back to the location of the battle with the Akuma, each silent and lost in their own thoughts.

For his part Lavi hoped that being alone with Lenalee had done Allen some good. He was tired of watching the white haired boy isolate himself from everyone and hoped that Lenalee had been able to make him come around.

After all, if anyone could do it, she could.

With their fast pace it didn't take long for the two groups to meet up. Lavi was the first one to spot the other two members of their groups and his green eye widened as he noticed that Allen and Lenalee were holding hands.

"I knew she could do it," he thought to himself as his ever perceptive eye picked up on the changes in Allen's appearance.

A/N - and this is the end of this little story. Lenalee finally managed to get through to Allen and now they're a couple. Hope that you enjoyed. Once again this story was requested by and is dedicated to Allen Walker the Crowned Clown.


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